Filed under: o.O
the last blog entry from the Premier room in the TEP centre.
“Sexual intercourse during fasting is forbidden and is a great sin. Those who engage in it must make both qada‘ (make up the fasts) and kaffarah (expiation by fasting for 60 days after Ramadan or to feed 60 poor people for each day of fast broken in this way). According to Imam Abu Hanifah, eating and/or drinking deliberately during fast also entail the same qada‘ and kaffarah.”
Diy: I know 60 poor people
Khai: No, see, if you qada’ for 3 days thats 180 people
Diy: Oh it’s 60 – for every day. Abeh isit for the whole month or during fasting itself
Khai: Uh you do realise that puasa ke tak puasa kalau belum kawin is no go right.
Diy: -looks at me-
Khai: -looks back-
The room looks like a warzone. bodies are slumped over in many varied positions, faces covered like body bags ready to be buried. its just random classmates taking their usual 2 hour naps under their respective sweaters.
It’s the last week of the Teaching Enterprise Project. after almost three years, the beginning of the end is almost here. seven sunsets away. Whatever it is that I’m supposed to feel – the stabbing nostalgia, heady excitement. I don’t feel it. I’m not nauseous, nervous. Not scared.
I’m dealing with it by procrastinating. Whatever was done in the past six months have to be dealt with by Friday. There’s quite a bit to do but this is me, here. Not doing anything about it.
—-
On my 14th birthday someone female made the whole class sing me a birthday song. I didnt want to stand up, i didnt want to warrant any more attention than i had to. There was no harmony, the song was monotonous. Nobody even looked me in the face. The ones that did, received a glare in reply. They looked away, just as I silently dared them to.
She took me by the elbow, into a corner of the classroom. It turns out being stonefaced when the class sings you a song is unacceptable. I would have told her that passing a cempedak off as a nangka should be unacceptable, but what relevance would have there have been anyway, right?
I didn’t like them. They didn’t like me either. In fact I think they didn’t like me first. So I just didn’t like them back. I didn’t like the resentment on their face, the reluctance. The grudge they were openly showing. I told her I didn’t have to take it.
Anyway. I bite my lip because I like how the dull sting distracts me.
—-
The school is refusing all the replies I’ve gotten from the companies I’ve applied to intern at.
That irates me.
1) ever wondered what would happen when monkeys start to not like peanuts? pardon the bitterness, just giving you your money’s worth.
2) the month’s mantra reads as such: “If you have nothing nice to say, change the topic.”
3) i didnt know r&b pop songs get their own wiki pages. anyway, sometimes i really do wish i did act like a boy.
4) ambition makes you look pretty ugly. kicking squealing gucci little piggy.
Filed under: thought bubble
i am not in the habit of doubting myself. neither am i familiar with the sensation of being incapable of learning. i have never been left incredulous or flabbergasted in handling material. or maybe i have a bad case of selective memory.
anak-anak takde rumah.
—-
the thought that Kaki 5 would’nt be over at 9 Haji Lane anymore has not quite sunk in yet. i’m not looking forward to walking through blu jazz cafe, past the fartsy ang moh langs and making a right turn down towards al majlis and see a void there.
When Ignite moved over to Jalan Sultan, it didnt feel too weird because Abang would still be a 5 minute walk away. The (not so new) place is much better anyway, got jamming room. Mbarhhar. Not having Kaki there to while my whiles away is going to be janggal.
Charlene & I spent a lot of our post O Levels days there and I’ve had three consecutive birthdays at the same place. Makcik BBQ, a solemn sing-along and who can forget the Ninja kidnapping? There were galleries, random people, a mat John Mayer, Eric challenging me to hot soup (oh please, im not bedah BELACAN for nothing). There were cats and there was cattiness, catty people, awkward moments but undeniably lots of love.
The silver lining is that it’s closing when it’s going good, so that the memory of kaki lives on pristine. wont be the last of wahyu and adi, theyre gonna go make more magic. i feel like i had a good childhood there. Thanks ah, korang.
i got to keep one of the 060606 table/box and it’s storing the various games that the kakis would play during sheesha sessions there. feels good to have a piece of history with me.
–
this morning Amelia gave me a look out of the corner of her eye and declared me to be the most boy crazy girl in the class even though i dont look the part. i looked her back in the eye with a frosty glare and with a huge huff, I retorted -
“HANS ISAAC.”
